Reasons for “Living”: Pre-Vacation Protip Edition

April 24, 2008

Taking a two-week vacation allows me to break from the usual sleep/office/family routine and replace it with a slightly less onerous sleep/housework/family schedule. I kid, I kid. I’m really feeling the need for a breather after the last couple of nutso months at work. This vacation is especially auspicious; I swear that this wasn’t planned, but having additional free time fits nicely with a Major Gaming Event^tm. Can you possibly guess what this might be?

• Over the last couple of days, legitimate and not-so-legitimate copies of GTA IV have been seen in the wild, and subsequently, all over the internet. Poorly shot video snippets, and in some cases full streams, have given us the first glimpses of actual gameplay that’s free of PR massaging or manhandling. The verdict (well, my verdict): lookin’ good!
• Kotaku reports that Microsoft will be “looking into” the Live accounts of those playing the game already. Honestly, if you’re stupid enough to play a pirated version on a Live enabled Xbox, you deserve to get banned and lose out on all that multiplayer goodness. Is flushing $300+ down the drain worth a week’s bragging rights?
• For those of you that obtained the game legitimately from a retailer that broke the streetdate, you’re one lucky bastard. I don’t begrudge these folks a damn thing, however, it does raise an issue with the rewards Rockstar plans for those who complete the game first. A week’s head start is pretty significant, and isn’t fair to those in, say, the entirety of North America, who aren’t yet even in the starting blocks. But what can Rockstar do? It a no-win PR situation: if they invalidate the early players’ efforts or if they let it stand, they’ll still have a very vocal minority of power gamers screaming for Dan and Sam Houser’s heads on pikes.

To prove to you, dear readers, that I’m not just a one-trick pony, I’d like to take a moment to respond to my esteemed colleague’s previous post. By way of clarification, Phil is somewhat new to the the whole online gaming thing. He hasn’t built up a thick enough shell to repel the verbal slings and arrows of people like iMmaDoucheBag. Make no mistake, I get angry with their ilk as well, but a few simple pointers can make your time on Live (or Steam, or whatever) far more enjoyable:

• Mute early and often. Any Live-enabled game that doesn’t have a quick and easy mute function is a waste of money. For particularly obnoxious assholes, permanently muting them from the Xbox Dashboard means you’ll never hear their gibbering again.
• Mental-midgetry getting you down? Then access GokUSaiYAN45’s profile and set it to avoid. If they were particularly vile, register a complaint. Not that Microsoft will do anything with these complaints (really, has anyone ever been hoofed from Live due to bad behaviour?), but it is somewhat satisfying.
• Never feed the trolls. Ever. Someone has to be the adult.
  
• Most games handle matchmaking pretty well and require that each player have his own Live-enabled profile. Halo 3 is a terrible exception to this rule. What Phil was seeing with iMmaDoucheBags one through three was one Live-enabled player and three of his buddies on one 360. iMmaDoucheBag and his jerkboat retinue were playing on a four-way splitscreen. This gives them two advantages: communication and host-advantage. The former is obvious and sensible as communication in a team based gamemode like Territories is important, but the latter can grant an unfair edge. Since Halo 3 games over Live are host based, it’s very likely thatiMmaDoucheBag was selected as host and enjoyed a relatively lag-free experience. And lag, as we know, is a fun killer.
• When in doubt, especially in non-ranked games, bail. If the game ceases to be fun, it’s time to go do something else.
• Always play with people you know in real life. Failing that, populate your friends list with goons. There are still plenty of iMmaDoucheBags within the goon population, but their frequency is actually quite low.

I hope this handy little guide can improve Phil’s and others’ online experiences. Just as online is a microcosm of gaming in general, each individual game generates it’s own unique culture which changes over the span of it’s popularity. That’s a whole topic unto itself.

Written by kingmob | Filed under: 360, GTA IV, Reasons for "Living", Video Games, Xbox Live |